There are a lot of labels I can and do use to describe myself. Mother, wife, daughter, sister, entrepreneur, nature lover, hippie, artist, spiritual teacher, spiritual warrior, energy healer, empath, intuitive, psychic, earth goddess, priestess, and light-worker, to name a few.
There is an almost limitless amount of words I can use to describe myself. But the most important thing, and the one that I definitely share with you, is that I am spirit, a spark of the divine, in human form.
Truth be told, I wasn’t always aware of the strongly spiritual path I am on. I grew up in a multi-religion household – Roman Catholic and Jehovah’s Witness. All I knew was that I never really believed anything I was taught in either of those religions.
When I was 18 I finally said to my parents, I am not going to church anymore. I felt such a huge relief not having to pretend to fit into these molds anymore. For years I stayed completely away from anything to do with religion or spirituality. Anytime I heard or read the word “God” I cringed and ran the other way.
But all that time I listened to the strong messages of my heart and soul, even when it wasn’t easy. I left an unhealthy marriage shortly before my 24th birthday. Though I knew without a shadow of a doubt the marriage was killing my soul and leaving was something I absolutely had to do, it tore me apart. I mourned, for months and felt so much guilt for going back on my word (marriage vows) and causing pain for my ex.
Two months later, I was at my job in NYC as the details of 9/11 began to unfold. It was a traumatic summer to say the least. It was the day after 9/11 that I realized it was time to make my dream of moving to the west coast a reality. New York City had never really resonated with me and I had only stayed because of my friends, family and ex.
One year later, after working two jobs to save up, I drove to sunny San Diego, California, with nothing more than clothes and a few personal belongings. I didn’t have a job lined up and didn’t know anyone who lived there, but knew with my whole being that this was where I was supposed to be.
In San Diego I met my soul mate, we had two kids and then moved to where we live now, in a beautiful forest in the Pacific Northwest.
My conscious spiritual journey didn’t begin until I was in San Diego in my late 20s and would go to the library and take out many books about NDEs, psychics, and books by Deepak Chopra and Don Miguel Ruiz.
I couldn’t get enough of this info even though I couldn’t understand so much of it. I remember sitting at a park on my lunch break and reading a book by Deepak Chopra and crying as I tried my hardest to understand what he meant when he said look at a flower, you are that flower. “What the fuck does that mean?” I cried to myself. “How can I be the flower?” But I kept on reading. I couldn’t stop.
As I look back now I can see how my whole life was a spiritual journey, even though I didn’t realize it at the time.
My thoughts of suicide that started when I was about 13 – I see clearly now that it was the part of me that so acutely remembers where I come from and how much I miss being in pure spirit form. And not feeling like I belong or understanding a lot of why humans do what they do.
My cutting and over-drinking as a teen – my way to escape the huge feelings I have, and a way to numb the strong pull I had to get out of my unhealthy relationship.
My binge eating in my twenties. A way, once again to numb the feeling that there was more to what I was experiencing. A strong fear of what would happen if I just sat with who I was and allowed myself to grow and let things unfold as they may.
There always was a huge calling of my heart and soul to be who I am and listen to my inner wisdom. Most of the time, I fought this calling tooth and nail. I did most everything in my power to numb this calling.
Until, as Anais Nin so eloquently put it, “and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
I finally decided to stop fighting, that I wanted to experience life to its fullest and allow myself to flow with the current of life instead of always trying to swim upstream. It didn’t happen all at once but I took baby steps to where I am today and continue to take baby steps. Though at this point, with my heart and soul mostly in the lead, sometimes those steps feel like giant leaps that I’m not quite ready to take.
I listen and take them anyway with trust and a knowing that is just so hard to explain, that everything is going to be okay. Everything will work out as it should and that love will guide me to places that up to now, at least in this lifetime, I’ve only dreamt of.
One of those leaps was in creating Sacred Soul Gardening. This sacred, safe place for those of us with a strong pull towards spirituality is a calling that just would not be ignored. I needed to create a place where together we can dive into the essence of who we are with others supporting us. Others who get it and are also doing their own dive within. I created the space that I had been looking for since I started consciously following my spiritual journey.
I currently work with clients both one on one and in group programs. I do energy alignment sessions, known by some as energy healing, helping people align more consciously with their higher selves. I also lead groups to go deep and listen to their own inner wisdom to find the way on their unique journey and path to awaken to their divinity. Find out more on the services page.