As I’m going through our house, getting rid of all the belongings we don’t need and packing what we plan on taking with us when we move, I found a letter that I wrote to my son 3 years ago. I want to share it with you because the message is an important one for all of us.

A little while after you went to bed, I looked at myself in the mirror and felt so angry at myself. I really wanted to punch myself in the face. I was so angry because sometimes I don’t like the things I do and say. Sometimes I feel like I am a terrible mom. I don’t like when I lose my patience and yell at you or your brother or I’m just not very nice.

And just like you, I get angry at myself for all the things I wish I didn’t do.

Even though I felt like punching myself in the face I didn’t. Because I know it’s important to love myself and forgive myself for the things I don’t like about me. And it’s important to remind myself of all the good things about me.

It’s okay that I get angry. It’s okay that I am mean sometimes. I am human and that’s what humans do. All I can do is try and I will try to be more patient. I will try to treat you like I want to be treated.

I hope that you too will remember that sometimes you do things that you don’t like and that is okay. Just notice what you don’t like and remind yourself that next time you just want to do it differently.

I love you very, very much

We don’t always act the way we want to. We are sometimes mean, judgmental, yell at others, hate ourselves and don’t act in a loving way at all. The best way to remedy that is to love yourself despite all the things you don’t like about yourself. The reason we lash out in the first place is because we are struggling, in pain, aren’t feeling loved, among other things.

We fear that if we don’t punish ourselves, we will continue to do more unloving things. When in fact the opposite is true. The more we love and accept ourselves and are honest about our shortcomings with ourselves and others, the more we will be able to love and accept others and their shortcomings.

In our political climate here in the US, it can be even harder to love our shortcomings. We fear we will become the uncontrolled ego, lashing out and bullying others. We think to ourselves, “If I yell at someone and don’t punish myself I will become like those I am seeing in the news.” But I assure you, those that we are seeing in the news don’t love themselves. I assure you they don’t have any desire to do things differently next time around. We aren’t seeing the actions of people who were just overwhelmed and lost their temper. We are seeing people who are so far removed from true love and acceptance they wouldn’t even know what it was if they saw it.

Being gentle with yourself, loving yourself, forgiving yourself is the best way to heal yourself and to heal those around you. Loving yourself will not create a monster. Loving yourself will keep you connected to your divine spark and will make you a compassionate, loving human being, something we need more of these days.

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